The more I am demanded the less I am given.
Yet the more I am given the more people give me.
I'm vastly needed and the results are devastating where I am lacking.
Some think I must be "earned" but I'm really a need.
I'm not love, yet some feel loved when people give me.
What am I?
Hopefully, after reading the title of this post you guessed that the answer to the above riddle is respect! :-)
Let me take you back to 2007... I was very upset with my brother. As a family we were serving at a certain ministry for short term when he had been asked to leave for negative reasons, which meant all of us would have to leave, too. I shall spare you the gory details on that, since it is his story to tell. Although I will leave you with the knowledge that since that time he has sought and received forgiveness from many of those he wronged. A certain young lady, with an understanding of the situation tried desperately to share with me a vital truth that could make a major impact for good if I followed her wise advice. What did she try to encourage me to do? Respect him no matter what! Sadly, it didn't quite sink in at the time. One thing she failed to do was answer my silent question, no doubt asked by many:
"How can I respect him when he doesn't deserve it?!"
Now for the answer. Let's jump to 2014. I was visiting friends and one night a Divine Appointment happened when again, I was encouraged (this time by a very dear friend) to respect my brother. This time I was a bit more receptive. This time I heard something about brothers/men needing respect and needing it desperately. I still had that same silent unanswered question. After sleeping on it, the Lord gave me the answer the next day and the days following as I pondered the things I had heard. Respect... IS a valid need, even if it is not "deserved". Furthermore, men need respect just as I need God's grace and mercy yet, do not deserve them. Can I in my own strength "earn" God's mercy? Nope, not one single drop of it! Yet God gives it to me although I do not deserve it and even when I do not ask for it. If I demanded for God to bestow mercy upon me, would He give it? That is actually when He would withhold His mercy. It demonstrates a spirit of pride, and God hates pride (Proverbs 8:13, 13:10, Matthew 5:7)!
As I drove home from my friends the Lord continued to speak to me concerning respect. It is important for sisters to realize the need to respect their brothers and give it to them, whether younger or older. Respect does not necessarily mean obey. Respect is an attitude that displays honor, deference, admiration, thoughtfulness, and being considerate of another. Now I wonder how much greater impact the lessons Mom so desperately tried to impart and the troubles that could have been avoided if my brother had received the respect from Mom and me that he needed upon reaching manhood (age 13). Perhaps Mom would have been able to win his heart and our sibling relationship during our growing up years would have been best friends. A lesson for parents and siblings alike, you will not win that brother or son if you do not respect him.
It would not take anyone long to learn that my brother Jeremiah has a major interest in guns (and that's an understatement). Mr. Second-amendment-rights, out of true concern for her safety was greatly desirous of instructing a certain older sister in the art of operating a handgun. The said older sister was greatly resistant to the idea. Part of it was his attitude. Part of it was my attitude. Regardless, it made sense to learn, yet for some reason I could not humble myself to receive instruction from my younger brother. Part of me wondered why in the world I could not humble myself, not even for an afternoon. Enter the lesson on respect. First, I sought forgiveness for not respecting Jeremiah. Then the Lord spoke to me, "You need to let Jeremiah teach you how to operate a handgun". It was a great shock to him when I asked him to teach me. I seem to remember him asking me if I felt okay. :-) What happened? It is hard to receive instruction from someone you do not respect. Once I gave him respect I was able to humble myself and receive instruction.
As I drove home from my friends the Lord continued to speak to me concerning respect. It is important for sisters to realize the need to respect their brothers and give it to them, whether younger or older. Respect does not necessarily mean obey. Respect is an attitude that displays honor, deference, admiration, thoughtfulness, and being considerate of another. Now I wonder how much greater impact the lessons Mom so desperately tried to impart and the troubles that could have been avoided if my brother had received the respect from Mom and me that he needed upon reaching manhood (age 13). Perhaps Mom would have been able to win his heart and our sibling relationship during our growing up years would have been best friends. A lesson for parents and siblings alike, you will not win that brother or son if you do not respect him.
It would not take anyone long to learn that my brother Jeremiah has a major interest in guns (and that's an understatement). Mr. Second-amendment-rights, out of true concern for her safety was greatly desirous of instructing a certain older sister in the art of operating a handgun. The said older sister was greatly resistant to the idea. Part of it was his attitude. Part of it was my attitude. Regardless, it made sense to learn, yet for some reason I could not humble myself to receive instruction from my younger brother. Part of me wondered why in the world I could not humble myself, not even for an afternoon. Enter the lesson on respect. First, I sought forgiveness for not respecting Jeremiah. Then the Lord spoke to me, "You need to let Jeremiah teach you how to operate a handgun". It was a great shock to him when I asked him to teach me. I seem to remember him asking me if I felt okay. :-) What happened? It is hard to receive instruction from someone you do not respect. Once I gave him respect I was able to humble myself and receive instruction.
"The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate." Pr. 8:13
"Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom" Proverbs 13:10
"Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy" Matthew 5:7
A very valuable lesson. Thank you for sharing the insights and wisdom the Lord has given you.
ReplyDeleteMay the Lord continue to bless your relationship with your brother and make you close friends.