Another stronghold of fear was about getting a job outside the home. Single daughters working outside the home can be very controversial in certain circles. If you look at Scripture, there are no verses that tell a single daughter go and get a job outside the home, but neither are there any verses that specifically give the command for daughters to stay home. There are verses that make it very clear that a wife is not to work outside the home, but I have not found any addressing single daughters. There are godly men on both sides of the issue. The cause of my fear was that something bad would happen, like a spirit of rebellion and a disruption of the close relationship with my mom. I don't want to rebel, but I have heard speakers present scenarios of where a daughter would get a job outside the home and end up in rebellion. I thought, oh no! I don't want that, that is clearly something God does not want. But fear can work in the opposite direction, too. Some could run out and get a job out of fear of what others think (especially relatives) of a single daughter at home with no job & "no" future. Ultimately the bottom line is: what is your motive for getting a job or staying home? If it is fear that is a wrong motive and is a stronghold that satan has over you. If it is because some godly leader said so, you need to get before the Lord and see what HE wants (Acts 17:11). It doesn't mean it is wrong for someone else (Romans 14:4), but it needs to be the Lord's leading. If it is the Lord convicting you, then go by what *GOD* is clearly convicting you and let nothing ever sway you from that!
There is something I realized quite some time ago and that was heavily stressed at the Conference, I would like to include here. The vital need for openness with your parents which means that you share everything with them, and never hide things. You know in your heart of hearts whether you are hiding anything from them. The enemy will hold that over you and use it to defeat you. Having your parents as your most intimate confidants, the ones you share your heart with and tenderest thoughts is practice for sharing with your future spouse. One of the lies the enemy likes us to believe is, "you don't have to tell you parents, things will be different once you are married". Though I am not married, I am very grateful that many years ago I was encouraged to be open with my mom. Just in case you get the wrong idea, we do have times of miscommunication - it occurs all too frequently. That is a major area that I'm still working on and will probably have to work on for the rest of my life.
A new twist to an old concept I heard at WIT that really spoke to me and grabbed my attention is the idea of emotionally & mentally "drawing a line in the sand". When we have been hurt there is a desire to say "I never want that to happen or be hurt like that again!". Then we act on it and do our best to create a surrounding about ourselves to keep from being hurt in the same way again. It is a form of relying on oneself instead of God. And if you want to face the ugly truth, this is really setting me up as god! (Ouch!!!), and is also a form of rebellion. It is saying, "God, you can't use that hurt, I'm going to take care of myself now because I don't trust You to keep me from being hurt again". To counter that we need to remember and medidtate on verses like Romans 8:28 & Proverbs 3:5-6.
Raise your hand if you like to get hurt (emotionally). I didn't think so. Nobody does. When I went to Journey to the Heart in 2008 God had revealed a need to work on deepening relationships. Unfortunately I did not really do anything with that. I think I'm beginning to realize that I do not know how. I can do surface relationships really well, but that is not enough. This is another area where I have put up a "wall". If you keep things on the surface you don't have to worry about getting hurt emotionally. But there is a needed healthy depthness in friendships that God designed. We have a natural tendency to put up a wall when we get hurt. By keeping things on the surface you can talk about all the small talk on the face of the earth, for example: how many siblings you have, where you live, favorite foods, foods you dislike, favorite this and that or dislikes. It's all on the surface. What we need, and was a prevailing theme at the Conference is openness and brokenness. You cross the line of vulnerability when you share weaknesses/failures, things that are much harder to talk about, things that are really truly on your heart, things you have a deep passion about, and things you are sensitive about. When you express your true opinion on a subject even though it may be controversial. We need to do as James 5:16 instructs us, "Confess you faults one to another, and pray for one another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." We naturally want others to think well of us. Therefore we do our best to shelter our failures from others. The lie the enemy uses to instill fear with is the thought, "what will others think if they knew __________?". So we plaster on a mask and tell others "everything's peachy keen fine" when it's not, or maybe we're just not feeling too well that day. It's being honest when everything is ugly looking on the inside. It's being able to truly listen to others with genuine interest in what they have to say. It's saying, "I'm struggling with _________, will you please pray for me?" Something I have noticed - and it is quite terrible, is a tendency to have a programmed/automated question and response. Someone asks the programmed question, "How are you today?". The automated response is supposed to be something along the lines of "Fine" or "Great!". The other person responds with something along the lines of "Good to hear you're doing well". End of conversation, move on to somebody else to repeat the "conversation". It is so automated, that sometimes when I'm feeling down I will say a hesitant "okay", it is surprising how many are really so used to these automated responses that they do not really hear what you are saying and reply "that's great, glad your doing good". And I'm thinking, "uh, I really did not have a good week" or "yesterday was just terrible". I think one of these days when I'm daring enough I will probably tell somebody "everything is terrible, the world is caving in" - not because it is, but just to see if they are really listening or respond with the automated response "glad you had a great week" (if you know me, you know my sense of humor).
Was the WIT Conference life changing? For me, yes it was! When I received the flyer in the mail I had no clue what the Lord had in store for me. I just knew that the Lord wanted me to go. Finances was an issue, but the Lord provided in a unique way for which I do not have the time to relate here. I hope others are blessed by this article and that it is wholesomely ediflying to Christ.
