A few weeks ago I received a phone call that totally rocked my world. It was Shirley, my Dad's wife wondering if it was okay for her and Dad to come for a visit! I had never met her and had not seen Dad in over 9 years. It was a total shock! Yet, I consented.
Wait a minute, maybe you don't know my family too well so perhaps I ought to let you in on a few things. On April the first 1992 my dad decided for reasons unknown to us that he no longer wanted to be a part of our family. I was almost 10 and Jeremiah was 5 and a half. We went for a seemingly unending season of sorrow, emotional pain, and heartbreak. When the divorce was all over Dad moved out of state and very rarely contacted us. When he did it was via phone calls or mail. There were times when we did not even know where he was. During that whole season Dad was the "bad guy" and honestly, by his behavior he really was.
When I was about 15 the Lord convicted me being bitter towards my dad. The Lord used the tool of the Basic Seminar (aka "the Bill Gothard Seminar") to convict me of my unforgiving spirit. I remember it very clearly. Mom, who had already long forgiven Dad, was sick that night so she found a ride for me - I am so grateful for that! I remember choosing to forgive Dad for all the heartache he caused and the beautiful freedom that came immediately!! It felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders!
For many, many years I and others in my family have been praying for my dad. If there was one person in the world I didn't think would change, it was him! :-) Every once in awhile in the past few years I felt the Lord ask me, 'so what if he does change, what would it take to convince you he has?' I couldn't think of a response - I just didn't know. This brought a realization that, if he did change it could prove a great challenge to try and convince those he hurt that he really had.
A few months ago the Lord convicted me of another thing... I had been disrespectful to my dad during the time of my parents divorce. Ouch!! Yes, it
could be explained away due to circumstances. However God says to "Honor thy father and thy mother..." Exodus 20:12a - not just when things are going peachy keen fine. You don't need a command then. The command is for when it is hard. I knew I needed to make a phone call, probably the hardest one I have ever made in my entire life. The Lord gave me great grace to do it. Mom prayed with me before, and I called my dad and asked his forgiveness for not honoring him like I should have. He did forgive me, we had some small talk and then ended our conversation.
When dad's wife, Shirley (married within the past few years) called I had no clue what was going to happen. Many thoughts whirled through my head, is he coming to cause trouble? Maybe he's trying to get some free labor to work on their ranch by trying to convince Jeremiah or me to come live with them. Was his wife going to barge into our lives and try to make us call her "mom"? Will he try and bring up things? Will he try and convince us that things that happened didn't? Or would he complain or talk bad about Mom? Will things be awkward? Or ???
On May 31st Dad called to let us know they were going to be arriving late. Jeremiah & I weren't home and Mom took the call. She could tell by his voice that he had changed - he did not sound angry. Then the day arrived.... we met Dad up at Bass ProShops on June 1st at noon (it somewhat felt like "High Noon", I could almost hear the theme music). He arrived by himself and thus began a great 3 days of fun! Wow. Dad had been the "bad guy" for so long that I had forgotten he could be fun. He had indeed changed greatly for the better, I was so amazed. Many were praying and I know that God blessed the time in answer to our praying friends (thanks guys!). We met Shirley the next day and discovered a very kind lady who loves the Lord. All my concerns, were of course unfounded. We did not have any heart to heart talks. But that's okay, after soooo many years this appears to be a good start to restoration. The visits crowning point to me anyways, was after a tour of the Yorktown Victory Center (the original plan was Colonial Williamsburg, but was abandoned due to the time required to tour there) when we hosted Dad & Shirley in our home for an early dinner! We all got along so beautifully - it was just amazing. If felt so much like family. Only God can do a work like that. My heart is continually praising the Lord for the great things He hath done. I am looking forward to what else the Lord has in store. I'm so glad that God writes the last chapter, aren't you?
One more thing. There's something I want to do now that I've not wanted to do since before the divorce, and that is to send Dad a Father's Day card! Good thing it's just around the corner :-)
"O magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt His name together"
Psalm 34:3
Top Picture: Jeremiah, Crystal, & Dad
Second Picture: Jeremiah, Dad, Shirley, & Crystal at Sandy Bottom Nature Park
A snake we saw on one of the trails, non-poisonous, of course! Someone took one shot of it, then it started to go into a hole. Shirley stepped on his tail, so we could get more shots!
We visited Yorktown and Jeremiah took us to this grave marker for confederate soldiers.
Shirley observing some of history.
L to R: Shelley, Mom, Grandpa, Grandma, Dad, Jeremiah, and Shirley
L to R: Mom, Grandpa, Grandma, Dad, Jeremiah, and Crystal
