Three Exhortations & A Surprise in the Mail by Crystal

On July 29, 2002 Mom, my brother Jeremiah, & myself were in a train wreck. But that event is not the real subject of this article. I only mention it briefly here due to the part it played. Mom sustained an enclosed "mild" traumatic brain injury, one of the results was a balance problem. In 2007 God sent a beautiful golden retriever to Mom in order to assist with her balance. As Mom learned more about service dogs, God gave her a desire to educate others about them and share her story. In 2008, one tool the Lord led her to was Toastmasters International.


As for me, I just chauffeured her to her meetings. I sat in on them just in case Mom needed help with anything. In the beginning I sat in the back and worked on craft projects, trying to make the most of my time. One day one of those in leadership asked if I wanted to do what is called a "Table Topic" - a spontaneous one to two minute speech on a provided subject formerly unknown to the speaker. I agreed. Then slowly over time I was asked to do other things and fill in for others since it was a small club. I was also greatly encouraged to join. It was something I did not mind doing but really did not have an interest in and therefore declined. For me, I really did not feel God wanting me to do it. If I did, I would have joined even if it was not something I was interested in. Besides, with finances being on the tight side I could not mentally justify spending the money on it. Eventually I came up with the excuse "it's just not something I want to pursue right now, maybe someday". It worked well in stilling people's tongues and it WAS the truth.


A while back during a phone conversation with a very dear friend, Alicia, Mom's involvement in Toastmaster's came up. She, a non-Toastmaster tried to encourage me to join. I thought "oh no, not you too! You're supposed to be on "my side". :-) Her encouragement came sandwiched in between pressure from Mom & her fellow Toastmasters to join. Mom would persistently try and get me to join. One day I asked her to "get off my back" and explained the above reasons. And she did, for which I was immensely grateful! Then in July another friend, Elizabeth, via the Internet who is a non-Toastmaster encouraged me to join! Again, I had the previous thoughts. Then in August while I was out of town yet another friend, also a non-Toastmaster, - this time the encounter was face to face, encouraged me to join! The encouragement came quite unexpectedly and I really did not want to hear it! But, at the same time I was also beginning to feel that the Lord wanted me to join. I knew that God was trying to get my attention when three individuals who were non Toastmaster's, who do not know one another, at different time periods encouraged me to join Toastmaster's - that kind of blows my mind away! I honestly had not felt the Lord calling me to join until recently. I knew there were ways that God could be glorified, but did not feel the call. So I chose to submit in my spirit to the Lord.



Now that I was ready, I didn't know how to pay for it. Extra funds had been pretty much spent on the WIT Singles Conference trip. I could have asked Grandpa to pay for it, but did not feel right doing so. And there would not be enough time before the next meeting to save up for it. Then a mysterious envelope arrived in the mail on Saturday, August 21st. It was postmarked August 19th from Greenville, SC and addressed to Mom & myself in a distinctly feminine hand. There was no return address on the exterior of the envelope. I opened it and to my great surprise there was $55 cash inside! And no note or letter of any kind. Neither Mom nor I can figure out who sent it. At first we did the natural and started thinking of ways to spend it - wouldn't you? :-). As I pondered this mystery I knew there had be a reason for it - that God had sent this for a specific reason. Then it dawned on me.... the Lord had sent it to provide payment to join Toastmasters! I still have no clue who sent it, but whoever did, that person must have been obeying the Lord in faith. It would be nice to know who he/she is, but will probably have to wait until I see Jesus and He tells me. One lesson to learn from the anonymous friend is to obey the Lord when He tells you to do something no matter how absurd it sounds.

Testimony of WIT Singles Conference by Crystal

The Lord worked in several ways during the Whatever It Takes Singles Conference, and is still working through the things I heard there. The Lord revealed several strongholds of fear that I had. One of those was a fear of guys. Yes! I know it sounds odd. As I pondered it and sought the Lord and tried tracing it back I realized it stemmed from a fear of giving my heart away, which stemmed from a fear of marrying the wrong guy. This may have stemmed from a fear of divorce, since I come from a broken home. I was wanting to control the situation, I was "drawing a line in the sand". One of the ways of doing that was by avoiding guys and putting up a wall - kind of like guy "repellent". I was okay with guys who were about 10 years younger than myself - too young to marry. And okay for the most part with those I had known for a long time. It was those who are of marriageable age I had a problem with. By avoiding guys for the most part & putting up a wall I knew that I would not be developing wrong emotional attachments which would/could lead to other things. But, I was also cutting myself off from good, wholesome, & healthy guy/girl friendships! The enemies goal is to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10) and he did a pretty good job at stealing wholesome friendships. I was not basing my actions on wisdom, but fear (2 Tim. 1:7). When I realized this, I confessed it to the Lord, asking His forgiveness, and asked Him to take back the ground I had given to satan. It was amazing what resulted afterwards! God has given me a freedom in relationships that I have not had in a long, long time.

Another stronghold of fear was about getting a job outside the home. Single daughters working outside the home can be very controversial in certain circles. If you look at Scripture, there are no verses that tell a single daughter go and get a job outside the home, but neither are there any verses that specifically give the command for daughters to stay home. There are verses that make it very clear that a wife is not to work outside the home, but I have not found any addressing single daughters. There are godly men on both sides of the issue. The cause of my fear was that something bad would happen, like a spirit of rebellion and a disruption of the close relationship with my mom. I don't want to rebel, but I have heard speakers present scenarios of where a daughter would get a job outside the home and end up in rebellion. I thought, oh no! I don't want that, that is clearly something God does not want. But fear can work in the opposite direction, too. Some could run out and get a job out of fear of what others think (especially relatives) of a single daughter at home with no job & "no" future. Ultimately the bottom line is: what is your motive for getting a job or staying home? If it is fear that is a wrong motive and is a stronghold that satan has over you. If it is because some godly leader said so, you need to get before the Lord and see what HE wants (Acts 17:11). It doesn't mean it is wrong for someone else (Romans 14:4), but it needs to be the Lord's leading. If it is the Lord convicting you, then go by what *GOD* is clearly convicting you and let nothing ever sway you from that!

There is something I realized quite some time ago and that was heavily stressed at the Conference, I would like to include here. The vital need for openness with your parents which means that you share everything with them, and never hide things. You know in your heart of hearts whether you are hiding anything from them. The enemy will hold that over you and use it to defeat you. Having your parents as your most intimate confidants, the ones you share your heart with and tenderest thoughts is practice for sharing with your future spouse. One of the lies the enemy likes us to believe is, "you don't have to tell you parents, things will be different once you are married". Though I am not married, I am very grateful that many years ago I was encouraged to be open with my mom. Just in case you get the wrong idea, we do have times of miscommunication - it occurs all too frequently. That is a major area that I'm still working on and will probably have to work on for the rest of my life.

A new twist to an old concept I heard at WIT that really spoke to me and grabbed my attention is the idea of emotionally & mentally "drawing a line in the sand". When we have been hurt there is a desire to say "I never want that to happen or be hurt like that again!". Then we act on it and do our best to create a surrounding about ourselves to keep from being hurt in the same way again. It is a form of relying on oneself instead of God. And if you want to face the ugly truth, this is really setting me up as god! (Ouch!!!), and is also a form of rebellion. It is saying, "God, you can't use that hurt, I'm going to take care of myself now because I don't trust You to keep me from being hurt again". To counter that we need to remember and medidtate on verses like Romans 8:28 & Proverbs 3:5-6.

Raise your hand if you like to get hurt (emotionally). I didn't think so. Nobody does. When I went to Journey to the Heart in 2008 God had revealed a need to work on deepening relationships. Unfortunately I did not really do anything with that. I think I'm beginning to realize that I do not know how. I can do surface relationships really well, but that is not enough. This is another area where I have put up a "wall". If you keep things on the surface you don't have to worry about getting hurt emotionally. But there is a needed healthy depthness in friendships that God designed. We have a natural tendency to put up a wall when we get hurt. By keeping things on the surface you can talk about all the small talk on the face of the earth, for example: how many siblings you have, where you live, favorite foods, foods you dislike, favorite this and that or dislikes. It's all on the surface. What we need, and was a prevailing theme at the Conference is openness and brokenness. You cross the line of vulnerability when you share weaknesses/failures, things that are much harder to talk about, things that are really truly on your heart, things you have a deep passion about, and things you are sensitive about. When you express your true opinion on a subject even though it may be controversial. We need to do as James 5:16 instructs us, "Confess you faults one to another, and pray for one another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." We naturally want others to think well of us. Therefore we do our best to shelter our failures from others. The lie the enemy uses to instill fear with is the thought, "what will others think if they knew __________?". So we plaster on a mask and tell others "everything's peachy keen fine" when it's not, or maybe we're just not feeling too well that day. It's being honest when everything is ugly looking on the inside. It's being able to truly listen to others with genuine interest in what they have to say. It's saying, "I'm struggling with _________, will you please pray for me?" Something I have noticed - and it is quite terrible, is a tendency to have a programmed/automated question and response. Someone asks the programmed question, "How are you today?". The automated response is supposed to be something along the lines of "Fine" or "Great!". The other person responds with something along the lines of "Good to hear you're doing well". End of conversation, move on to somebody else to repeat the "conversation". It is so automated, that sometimes when I'm feeling down I will say a hesitant "okay", it is surprising how many are really so used to these automated responses that they do not really hear what you are saying and reply "that's great, glad your doing good". And I'm thinking, "uh, I really did not have a good week" or "yesterday was just terrible". I think one of these days when I'm daring enough I will probably tell somebody "everything is terrible, the world is caving in" - not because it is, but just to see if they are really listening or respond with the automated response "glad you had a great week" (if you know me, you know my sense of humor).

Was the WIT Conference life changing? For me, yes it was! When I received the flyer in the mail I had no clue what the Lord had in store for me. I just knew that the Lord wanted me to go. Finances was an issue, but the Lord provided in a unique way for which I do not have the time to relate here. I hope others are blessed by this article and that it is wholesomely ediflying to Christ.

WIT Singles Conference by Crystal

I arrived at the Verity Campus http://www.verityinstitute.iblp.org/ where the Whatever It Takes Singles Conference (WIT) http://www.witministries.com/ was being held with a screw lose; in fact I almost lost it. No, seriously - I did have a screw lose..... on my suitcase! :-) One of the staff guys kindly fixed that problem for me.

It was 3 AM on Thursday, August 12th when my alarm went off. I needed to leave at 4:30 AM the latest to catch a 6 AM flight. Originally my connecting flight in Philadelphia was supposed to have me land at the Indianapolis airport at around 9:30 AM - I thought, ah - just in time for lunch! Nope, wrong. The flight was majorly delayed, there was a transportation miscommunication with my ride, and I ended up missing lunch. Good thing I had brought snacks along! :-) Gratefully, one of the Verity students who is also a friend graciously helped me find something to eat. Another blessing was getting to know two other girls who were on my airport run. I was also able to get all my ironing done. Furthermore, I was able to establish a friendship with one of my neighbors who I later found out was on my team! By being there so early, I was also able to make my bed and have a relaxing afternoon before the evening session started at 7:30PM. Additionally, I was able to get to know a little bit of the layout of the place so I could find places at the right times. If things had gone my way I would have chosen a later flight to depart from home and an earlier one to leave. I blamed my procrastination, but ultimately now I see the blessings God wanted to give me that I would have missed otherwise.

While I was at the Philly airport I saw a rather bizarre thing. At least it was to me - I don't travel by air very often. There was a lady wearing hair curlers! I could have understood if it had been super early morning, but it was late morning. I wish I had brought a camera with me so that I could have taken a picture of such an odd sight. Alas, I was trying to pack light - thus avoiding the ridiculous checked baggage fee and therefore had no room for the big camera and could not find the little one at my time of departure.

If it had been my choice I would have left Sunday the 15th. But if I had, I would have missed out on so many blessings. Instead my flight was to depart Monday the 16th at 5:17 PM. I was able to go to the pizza party for Sunday dinner with everyone else who left late, participate in the ice cream social afterwards, enjoy even more fellowship, and able to spend a good part of Monday afternoon in sweet fellowship with my friend Gabrielle. I'm also grateful to Gabrielle (aka "GEM"), who willingly trimmed my hair.

During the Conference we were given generous meal breaks to allow time for recreation & beautiful fellowship. One day a handful of us went out to watch a volley ball game, none of us felt the urge to participate. Then a brother of one of the ladies came along with a Frisbee and we started tossing it around. A few others joined us later. It was a most enjoyable time. I wanted to make the most of the time at the Conference so.... I kept rather late hours, a very unusual thing for me except maybe when times of fellowship are concerned. The earliest I went to bed was 11:45PM and the latest was 2AM. And no, I didn't sleep in - except maybe half an hour. Instead I made up for it when I got home! :-) We were placed in peer team groups. Normally I would prefer an age-integrated group, but for once I appreciated being in a peer group! It was encouraging & a relief to not be the oldest single in a group. A neat surprise God had for me at WIT is that He also brought Jenna, a friend from my Journey to the Heart team back in 2008 to the conference! Even though we were not on the same team at WIT, I enjoyed spending time with her.

All of these things are really dealing with the surface type issues. I thought I would do this first due to it's being quicker & easier. Another article is in the works on how God worked in my life at the WITS Conference - so keep an eye out for it! :-)

Pictures of Dad's Visit

Top Picture: Jeremiah, Crystal, & Dad

Second Picture: Jeremiah, Dad, Shirley, & Crystal at Sandy Bottom Nature Park

A snake we saw on one of the trails, non-poisonous, of course! Someone took one shot of it, then it started to go into a hole. Shirley stepped on his tail, so we could get more shots!

We visited Yorktown and Jeremiah took us to this grave marker for confederate soldiers.

Shirley observing some of history.

L to R: Shelley, Mom, Grandpa, Grandma, Dad, Jeremiah, and Shirley

L to R: Mom, Grandpa, Grandma, Dad, Jeremiah, and Crystal

Hope you enjoyed the pictures. We tried to get a group shot, but couldn't figure out which button on the camera to push. Only after Dad & Shirley embarked did we figure it out. Oh well, now we know for next time.

Testimony of Dad's Visit by Crystal

A few weeks ago I received a phone call that totally rocked my world. It was Shirley, my Dad's wife wondering if it was okay for her and Dad to come for a visit! I had never met her and had not seen Dad in over 9 years. It was a total shock! Yet, I consented.


Wait a minute, maybe you don't know my family too well so perhaps I ought to let you in on a few things. On April the first 1992 my dad decided for reasons unknown to us that he no longer wanted to be a part of our family. I was almost 10 and Jeremiah was 5 and a half. We went for a seemingly unending season of sorrow, emotional pain, and heartbreak. When the divorce was all over Dad moved out of state and very rarely contacted us. When he did it was via phone calls or mail. There were times when we did not even know where he was. During that whole season Dad was the "bad guy" and honestly, by his behavior he really was.

When I was about 15 the Lord convicted me being bitter towards my dad. The Lord used the tool of the Basic Seminar (aka "the Bill Gothard Seminar") to convict me of my unforgiving spirit. I remember it very clearly. Mom, who had already long forgiven Dad, was sick that night so she found a ride for me - I am so grateful for that! I remember choosing to forgive Dad for all the heartache he caused and the beautiful freedom that came immediately!! It felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders!

For many, many years I and others in my family have been praying for my dad. If there was one person in the world I didn't think would change, it was him! :-) Every once in awhile in the past few years I felt the Lord ask me, 'so what if he does change, what would it take to convince you he has?' I couldn't think of a response - I just didn't know. This brought a realization that, if he did change it could prove a great challenge to try and convince those he hurt that he really had.

A few months ago the Lord convicted me of another thing... I had been disrespectful to my dad during the time of my parents divorce. Ouch!! Yes, it could be explained away due to circumstances. However God says to "Honor thy father and thy mother..." Exodus 20:12a - not just when things are going peachy keen fine. You don't need a command then. The command is for when it is hard. I knew I needed to make a phone call, probably the hardest one I have ever made in my entire life. The Lord gave me great grace to do it. Mom prayed with me before, and I called my dad and asked his forgiveness for not honoring him like I should have. He did forgive me, we had some small talk and then ended our conversation.

When dad's wife, Shirley (married within the past few years) called I had no clue what was going to happen. Many thoughts whirled through my head, is he coming to cause trouble? Maybe he's trying to get some free labor to work on their ranch by trying to convince Jeremiah or me to come live with them. Was his wife going to barge into our lives and try to make us call her "mom"? Will he try and bring up things? Will he try and convince us that things that happened didn't? Or would he complain or talk bad about Mom? Will things be awkward? Or ???

On May 31st Dad called to let us know they were going to be arriving late. Jeremiah & I weren't home and Mom took the call. She could tell by his voice that he had changed - he did not sound angry. Then the day arrived.... we met Dad up at Bass ProShops on June 1st at noon (it somewhat felt like "High Noon", I could almost hear the theme music). He arrived by himself and thus began a great 3 days of fun! Wow. Dad had been the "bad guy" for so long that I had forgotten he could be fun. He had indeed changed greatly for the better, I was so amazed. Many were praying and I know that God blessed the time in answer to our praying friends (thanks guys!). We met Shirley the next day and discovered a very kind lady who loves the Lord. All my concerns, were of course unfounded. We did not have any heart to heart talks. But that's okay, after soooo many years this appears to be a good start to restoration. The visits crowning point to me anyways, was after a tour of the Yorktown Victory Center (the original plan was Colonial Williamsburg, but was abandoned due to the time required to tour there) when we hosted Dad & Shirley in our home for an early dinner! We all got along so beautifully - it was just amazing. If felt so much like family. Only God can do a work like that. My heart is continually praising the Lord for the great things He hath done. I am looking forward to what else the Lord has in store. I'm so glad that God writes the last chapter, aren't you?

One more thing. There's something I want to do now that I've not wanted to do since before the divorce, and that is to send Dad a Father's Day card! Good thing it's just around the corner :-)

"O magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt His name together"

Psalm 34:3

Family Update

Nothing major has really happened for awhile now, but I thought perhaps a little family update might be helpful for some. I know it's not Christmas :-). So either consider this very early or considerably tardy :-D.



Grandpa: Retired from Wal-Mart in spring of 2008. He enjoys not having to keep track of time :-) and is often heard to say that those in retirement don't need a watch or calendar :-) - though he still wears a watch, perhaps from old habit. He finds great enjoyment in tending the vegetable garden.



Grandma: Earlier this year she was down to 72 pounds and is now gratefully up to 80! She was blessed by several cards & drawings for her birthday back in February. She enjoys watching game shows. However if you should ever come by for a visit, she would love to talk to you. You might have to hear the same story 4 or 5 times in the same setting, but that's all right she will appreciate the attention. If you ask her, she might even bring out her harmonica!



Mom: Is unfortunately losing her vision. She is in the process of cross training her service dog, Shelley, for vision assistance. She enjoys listening to audio books and radio dramas. She is also ever learning new things on her Mac at the weekly classes she takes.



Jeremiah: Is currently looking for a job. His car, unfortunately is on it's last legs. He enjoys playing computer games, reading, and target practice.



Crystal: Is forever trying to find time to accomplish everything at once - house chores, assisting Grandpa with the garden, taking Mom to the places she needs to go, cooking, decluttering, sewing, hobbies, etc..... She enjoys many hobbies and is ever trying to figure out how to squeeze everything she wants to do into one day :-) If only there were more hours in a day...... :-D



Shelley: Mom's service dog who just turned 4 at the beginning of April. She enjoys laying on the deck swing, playing with her toys, but best of all being petted & cuddled!

Modern "Profits"

Today's profits of baal have made constant declarations of "global warming" from their high places (pun very much intended). As in the days of Elijah, they have in essence challenged God. The Bible declares in Genesis 1:14, "And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years". There are a few things these profits need to consider, #1 God always wins and #2 Gods is in control of the weather. Unless they repent before God and genuinely seek salvation through Jesus Christ alone, they will face some real heat - the heat of God's wrath & eternal judgment.

"And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are, and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever."

Revelation 20:10

"And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire." Revelation 20:15

Soup Tips

According to our co-op sales flyer January is national soup month. So I thought I would share some things I have gleaned over time. Hope these ideas are helpful to somebody. If anybody else has some ideas they would like to share, I would love to hear them! Feel free to share them in the "comments".

- When cooking a roast or chicken save the broth & freeze it. Use it in your next soup instead of bouillon cubes or powder. It has a lot less sodium than bouillon, plus you know exactly what is in your soup - not a bunch of ingredients you can't pronounce! Be sure to watch out for tiny bones unless you decide to strain it really well prior to storage. If you are short on freezer space, you might be able to can the broth with a pressure canner.

-Think outside the cookbook with spices. Just because the cookbook doesn't list the herb for a particular dish doesn't mean it won't taste good. Sage is normally used to flavor chicken dishes, however it tastes delicious in beef soup, too.

-If you have a kitchen herb garden don't hesitate to use the spices you are growing. I was until this past summer. Then I started using them - and presented some pleasant surprises to my families taste buds. I discovered that rosemary is excellent in meatloaf. It is best to start off with a small amount and slowly increase the amount of herb you are experimenting with until you acquire a taste that's 'just right' to your taste buds.


- Have you ever wondered why chicken noodle soup helps you feel better when you have a cold? The minerals from chicken bones cooked in the broth is what is helping you feel better.

- If using a crockpot try cooking some of the vegetables for a few minutes to help give them a "kick start". If I'm using carrots, celery, or onion I put them in a frying pan with a little bit of olive oil and cook for a few minutes. It sure beats having crunchy soup! :-)