A "Little" Thing Called Respect

The more I am demanded the less I am given. 

Yet the more I am given the more people give me. 

I'm vastly needed and the results are devastating where I am lacking.

Some think I must be "earned" but I'm really a need.

I'm not love, yet some feel loved when people give me. 

What am I?

Hopefully, after reading the title of this post you guessed that the answer to the above riddle is respect! :-)

Let me take you back to 2007... I was very upset with my brother. As a family we were serving at a certain ministry for short term when he had been asked to leave for negative reasons, which meant all of us would have to leave, too. I shall spare you the gory details on that, since it is his story to tell. Although I will leave you with the knowledge that since that time he has sought and received forgiveness from many of those he wronged. A certain young lady, with an understanding of the situation tried desperately to share with me a vital truth that could make a major impact for good if I followed her wise advice. What did she try to encourage me to do? Respect him no matter what! Sadly, it didn't quite sink in at the time. One thing she failed to do was answer my silent question, no doubt asked by many:

"How can I respect him when he doesn't deserve it?!"

Now for the answer. Let's jump to 2014. I was visiting friends and one night a Divine Appointment happened when again, I was encouraged (this time by a very dear friend) to respect my brother. This time I was a bit more receptive. This time I heard something about brothers/men needing respect and needing it desperately. I still had that same silent unanswered question. After sleeping on it, the Lord gave me the answer the next day and the days following as I pondered the things I had heard. Respect... IS a valid need, even if it is not "deserved". Furthermore, men need respect just as I need God's grace and mercy yet, do not deserve them. Can I in my own strength "earn" God's mercy? Nope, not one single drop of it! Yet God gives it to me although I do not deserve it and even when I do not ask for it. If I demanded for God to bestow mercy upon me, would He give it? That is actually when He would withhold His mercy. It demonstrates a spirit of pride, and God hates pride (Proverbs 8:13, 13:10, Matthew 5:7)! 

As I drove home from my friends the Lord continued to speak to me concerning respect. It is important for sisters to realize the need to respect their brothers and give it to them, whether younger or older. Respect does not necessarily mean obey. Respect is an attitude that displays honor, deference, admiration, thoughtfulness, and being considerate of another. Now I wonder how much greater impact the lessons Mom so desperately tried to impart and the troubles that could have been avoided if my brother had received the respect from Mom and me that he needed upon reaching manhood (age 13). Perhaps Mom would have been able to win his heart and our sibling relationship during our growing up years would have been best friends. A lesson for parents and siblings alike, you will not win that brother or son if you do not respect him.

It would not take anyone long to learn that my brother Jeremiah has a major interest in guns (and that's an understatement). Mr. Second-amendment-rights, out of true concern for her safety was greatly desirous of instructing a certain older sister in the art of operating a handgun. The said older sister was greatly resistant to the idea. Part of it was his attitude. Part of it was my attitude. Regardless, it made sense to learn, yet for some reason I could not humble myself to receive instruction from my younger brother. Part of me wondered why in the world I could not humble myself, not even for an afternoon. Enter the lesson on respect. First, I sought forgiveness for not respecting Jeremiah. Then the Lord spoke to me, "You need to let Jeremiah teach you how to operate a handgun". It was a great shock to him when I asked him to teach me. I seem to remember him asking me if I felt okay. :-) What happened? It is hard to receive instruction from someone you do not respect. Once I gave him respect I was able to humble myself and receive instruction.

"The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate." Pr. 8:13

"Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom" Proverbs 13:10

"Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy" Matthew 5:7

Soul Winning Survey

Howdy Folks,

Please take this survey that I put together. Mostly the intent is to help in fulfilling another project I have going on currently. The results, I am hoping will be helpful. If you have already taken it, please do NOT take it a second time!

Click here to take survey

Thanks!
Crystal

Walk for Life!

Howdy Folks,

This year my brother Jeremiah and I are collecting pledges for the Walk for Life, a fund raiser for Care Net Resource Pregnancy Center. It is a Christian pro-life organization that helps women in unplanned pregnancies to see that life is the best and only option. Funds from last year's walk helped to add ultrasound as an available option and they have seen an increase in those choosing life! Please consider donating to this worthy ministry.

The walk is THIS Saturday, May 11. If you would like to sponsor Jeremiah & I you can do so by going to this link: http://www.ministrysync.com/event/website/?m=1395573#0

Thank you for considering sponsoring us!

In Christ,

Crystal & Jeremiah Thompson

Lack Vision? The Unexpected Answer

"Where there is no vision, the people perish: 

but he that keepeth the law, 

happy is he." 

Proverbs 29:18

"The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley 

shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it." Proverbs 30:17

Proverbs 29:18 is a well known and often quoted verse. Sermons and countless articles have pointed out this verse and the direness of individuals who have no vision, no life purpose. But why? Why do they not have a life purpose? I believe the answer is contained in the second part of that verse along with Proverbs 30:17. What does the law say? "Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee." (Ex. 20:12). See also Matthew 15:4 and Proverbs 23:22. Could it be that the root behind a lack of life purpose stems from disregarding parents? God often gives parents special insight and guidance for their children, including adult "children". Unfortunately, there is a natural  tendency (sin nature/pride) to disregard this. There is also spiritual warfare. If the enemy can get you off track from doing what God has called you to do then there is victory in the enemy camp.

When I was growing from time to time my mom would tell me that God had given me a gift to write and that God wanted me to write. She even got specific - she said He wanted me to write children's books. Sadly, I rejected that. I ran from it for many, many years. I have tried different pursuits only to experience God closing the door! For some reason the Lord would not bless my endeavors of studying to be a doula/midwife, trying to sell Pampered Chef, or starting up a home business to teach sewing. These were not bad things in and of themselves, in fact, some of them are very good things! However, none of them were what God wanted specifically for me to do as a life calling/purpose. Eventually after many years the Lord finally got through to me. I speak this to my shame for I have wasted years of my life of doing my own thing when I could have been fulfilling God's plan for me by writing children's books. If only I had not disregarded my mother's counsel. 

Oh, but praise God for His grace and forgiveness! Since submitting this area of my life to the Lord and truly pursuing it I have watched the Lord open doors and truly blessed it in incredible ways. It is not always easy, but it is wonderful to know that no matter how hard it might be I know 100% beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am doing exactly what the Lord wants me to do. There is nothing in the world that beats that.

This is a time of year that many are trying to make major life decisions that will make a huge impact upon their future. If you lack life purpose let me encourage you to seek your parents counsel. Don't wait years! The "eagles" are famished to eat up your vision by wasting your time, thus destroying your life purpose. Seek the Lord and your parents counsel. Don't disregard it. One of the greatest tragedies is time misspent trying to run your own life.

Mountain Wedding

I did something that I thought I would never do in my entire life: I *"crashed" a wedding, that is I showed up at a wedding for which I had not received an invitation. In fact, I didn't even really know the bride or groom. Yet, the Lord was directing it in an amazing way and I was a witness to seeing His mighty hand work.

On my way home from Indianapolis, Indiana on a recent trip I was to stay with my great aunt in West Virginia. On the day of my arrival at her house there was to be a very small wedding at her church. Originally, I had planned to arrive after the wedding would have been over. However, the Lord woke me up quite early that morning and I just could not sleep! What else could I do but get up and prepare for departure? The wedding was at 2 p.m. and I had a 5 hour drive. I arrived at just after 1 p.m. and quickly changed into clothing more suitable for a wedding. Gratefully, I had met the bride to be two weeks previous on my way to Indy.

It was a very small and simple wedding yet it holds priceless life lessons. The wedding was so small that there were only about 25-30 guests. The couple had been living in sin but when they both recently got saved a few weeks ago the Lord convicted them of their sin and that they should get married. Originally they were just going to go to a justice of the peace but that little baptist church decided they would give them a wedding and they came together and did just that! This couple is very poor, so poor that they don't even own a car, yet the Lord provided a dress, a suite, rings, cake, and decorations. And all in three weeks time!

My dear sisters in Christ could definitely learn a lesson from this bride on modesty. This bride was 100% committed to modesty. First of all, modesty IS inconvenient and not always fashionable. All too often Christian brides do their best to find modest wedding gowns in a world committed to just the opposite. They are committed to it until it is inconvenient, and rarely do you find a bride who sacrifices on fashion. They would rather bow to the world than suffer anything unfashionable. Here, a mere babe in Christ influenced by the Holy Spirit chose modesty even though it might look odd or unfashionable. This beautiful bride wore a gown with modifications. In addition to the gown she wore a "cape" to cover a sleeveless bridal gown. It was an improvisation, it did not originally come with the dress that could be told but it certainly complimented the dress. Before the Lord the spirit of this bride was beautiful. She had a rare jewel at her wedding that is tragically lacking in many weddings of "mature" Christians. I wish I had a picture to post, but alas I had forgotten the camera at home that trip! 

I wish you could have seen the soft glow on the brides face as she said her wedding vows for the first time. The glow and joy of one who had sinned, but now was obeying and serving the Lord Jesus Christ.

Now for the icing on the cake, for that's not all. The next day was Sunday and during the evening service the brides mother also attended, became convicted, and got right with God!!

That was one amazing weekend and I was blessed to see God's hand work in incredible ways.

*Please note: I do not recommend "crashing weddings" on a regular basis, with extremely rare exceptions it is very rude. 

Encouragement for Singles

If you are single and waiting for the Lord to bring the right marriage partner into your life then you are probably also wondering "when". "When will that happen?" The older you get the more it might cause you to worry: (Gasp) "What if I never get married!". :-) Let me share with you a few things the Lord taught me that have been helpful.

First ask yourself, what is the purpose of life? The answer is to glorify God. A few year's ago I finally realized that God will bring the right man for me to marry when my life will bring greater glory to Him as a married woman than a single one. This helped in that it comforted me that if I never get married then I  have fulfilled my life purpose by bringing glory to the Lord.

The next question to ask, "What am I doing to seek first God's kingdom?". Are you sincerely seeking first God's kingdom (Matthew 6:33)? Is it a true priority in your life with absolutely no strings attached? What are your competing affections? Let me encourage you to seek the Lord and ask Him to reveal the things in your life that are keeping you back from being more effective for Him. Then repent of those things and cry out to the Lord to make you more effective for Him.

This article may appear incomplete, perhaps it is. This is all I have for now. Prayerfully, this will be help and encourage to others.

May the Lord bless you with seeking first His kingdom and keeping your eyes on Christ.

Election Disappointment? by Crystal

"Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance." Psalm 42:5

"My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience." James 1:2-3

"Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Many are no doubt disappointed in the election outcome, some may even be devastated. When I first heard the news I was disappointed, then the Lord reminded me of an *audio message I listened to recently on the spiritual weapon of rejoicing. So today I am rejoicing in the re-election of President Obama. Rejoice that God is still on His throne and in control. Yes, the enemy won... but if you go around in a depressed state just because our guy lost, our spiritual foe is given cause to rejoice thus giving him victory. However, if you rejoice then it may very well provide an opportunity to let your light shine by sharing Christ - especially with those who knew your political stance and were of the opposite party.

Some may attribute the election outcome to not praying hard enough, fasting more, campaigning more, giving more financially, etc... I present to you, that is not the case. The fact that President Obama was re-elected is merely a symptom of the woeful state of our nation on a spiritual level. The root cause is the heart of a people who has not made Jesus Christ Lord of their life. Perhaps the re-election is also a punishment on Christians for not being more active in soul winning. Perhaps if Romney had won Christians would have said 'hooray, our guy won!' and then gone back to sleep until the next election.

I could say more, but I would like to encourage you to obey Scripture by rejoicing in the outcome of this election and to become active in soul winning. Get on fire for Christ!

*The audio message was from an audio series by Otto Koning titled "The Pineapple Story". I highly recommend this audio series.

If The Women Would Go Home

If the women would go home
A job my brother might have.

If the women would go home
More valiant men could be
Providers for their home
Just as God intended them to be.

If the women would go home
Perhaps an upside down world 
Would begin to turn right side up again.

If the women would go home
Homes would be changed
The world would be changed.

We have seen the wretched results of homes abandoned by women
Let us see the results of women embracing the home for Christ.

Women may pray earnestly on the their knees for revival
The answer may surprise you!
If the women would go home
Obedient to God's Word
Perhaps then would start a revival
If only the women would go home!

Three Men, Three Roadblocks

"And it came to pass, that, as they went in the way, a certain man said unto him, Lord, I will follow thee whithersoever thou goest.
58And Jesus said unto him, Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head.
59And he said unto another, Follow me. But he said, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father. 60Jesus said unto him, Let the dead bury their dead: but go thou and preach the kingdom of God.  61And another also said, Lord, I will follow thee; but let me first go bid them farewell, which are at home at my house.
62And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God."                                                                   Luke 9:57-62


Why would Jesus turn away a man who appeared to be willing to follow Him (vv 57-58)? Not only that, but this guy did not even offer an excuse as the other two did. The Lord knew that the man had an ulterior motive. This first man was not following Jesus out of sincerity. At that time Jesus was becoming quite famous. This man was after the "perks" of following someone who is famous - prestige, nice places to stay, and good favor by the multitudes. Jesus was quick to inform the man of His lodging situation. Somehow I think the man changed his mind. He allowed his excuse to be a roadblock that kept him from being effective for God.

The second man was actually commanded to follow Jesus (vv 59-60)! He offered a legitimate reason, a need to take care of his aging father. The Lord knew that perhaps the father was not as bad off as the man may have thought and that there were others available to taker care of the aging man. With this roadblock removed the second man could serve freely and be more effective for Christ.

In the third man we find another volunteer with an excuse (vv 61-62). This time it was not even the greatest of excuses. Someone might even wonder about this guy's sincerity. He was sincere but perhaps he had his priorities a little out of order. The Lord quickly helped him realize that going home would be the roadblock that would hold him back from being effective for Christ.

Whether sincere or not, whether the excuse was legitimate or silly, all three of the the men had one thing in common. Each of them had something in their life that would be a roadblock to prevent them from being effective for Christ. The first man allowed the roadblock to stay. The other two allowed Jesus to remove the roadblock. Like these three men, each of us has something in our lives that can prevent us from being more effective for Christ. The challenge to each of us is to seek the Lord and ask Him to reveal and remove the roadblocks that are keeping us from being more effective for Christ.

Foundations Destroyed

"If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?" Psalm 11:3
Build them again! But it most certainly is not easy!!

America is in a state of destruction, our foundation has been destroyed and we sat back and watched. Not only that, but we really tore it down with our own hands. We are no longer a Christian nation. We pursue headlong after our own destruction, like sheep that have gone astray. We are doomed unless somebody does something.

But wait.... there's an election coming up! Aha, all the fairygod mother has to do is wave her magic wand and get the right man into office and that will make everything all right again, right? That is what we would like to think. That is how many act... 'if we can only get the right man into office then everything will be all right'. It is a solution, perhaps part of the solution but an incomplete solution. It is also a solution from the wrong perspective.

With the heart of our nation as it is, what would happen if the conservative we want is elected? Oh yes, much rejoicing. Let us say that all the prolife and profamily legislation is passed. What happens at the next election? Maybe our guy wins again. Great! What happens if another die hard liberal is elected to office? What happens to all that legislation we worked so hard to put into law? We can watch and mourn as our hard work is overturned. Then we will wonder 'why?' - everything was going so well.

The problem is 1. we were looking to a man to save us 2. the heart of this people is waxed cold toward God.

Our families are breaking up and falling apart and it is not because the wrong elected official is in office. Electing the right conservative is NOT going to fix that. It is because families and individuals have not made Jesus Christ THE foundation of their lives.

If we expect an elected official to fix our problems we will be devasted, for we are expecting something from a mortal that only God can do. By looking to man instead of God we are commiting idolatry.

As an example, if overnight Roe v. Wade was suddenly overturned, what would happen? There would be riots in the streets and huge protests. People would get hurt. Underground abortions would still happen. Why? The hearts are not turned towards Christ! If Christ is Lord and Master we seek what He wants and He would not murder unborn babies.

What we need is hearts to be turned toward Jesus Christ. If Jesus Christ is Lord of your life you do what HE wants. Our current society is a do whatever is right in your own eyes society - it has a corrupt view of freedom. It has a do whatever you want as long as it does not stop me from doing what I want attitude.

The reason our nation is in the state that is in, is not because we have the wrong officials in office. They got there because the people wanted them there! It is because people are sinners that do no have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, thus making Him the founation of their lives. If Christ was the foundation the people would have voted differently. To restore America we must repent. We must make Christ the foundation of our life and we must win others to Christ (see Proverbs 11:30 & Luke 19:10).

My intent is not to convince you not to vote. Please DO vote - that is your responsibility to God and your country. But do not go to the polls thinking that electing the 'right' official with the 'right' platform is going to automatically fix everything. That is just the beginning of the battle. The real battle is winning hearts for Christ by soul winning. That is rebuilding the foundation.

Loving the Lord by Crystal

"And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all they strength: this is the first commandment." Mark 12:30

Imagine it is your wedding day and you have planned an outdoor wedding out in the beautiful countryside of your parent's home. This is the day that you have waited and dreamed about your whole entire life.

One major problem: rain. What would be your attitude & response?

Recently I attended the wedding of some very dear friends. The above scenario actually happened. As a guest I wondered what was going to happen. Would the wedding be moved elsewhere? If so, where? Or would we wait until it stopped raining? Later I found out that someone had suggested a pavilion at a nearby park that would only cost $20, the father of the bride responded in faith: "I think everything is going to turn out all right". He, the bride, the groom, and their families were all willing to wait on the Lord. They did not wait with a grumbling attitude. Instead, they waited in full trust that the Lord was in control of the situation and would do what was best. Groom & bride both waited with the right attitude and God was glorified. This was a demonstration of their love for the Lord and it was beautiful to behold.

After standing under umbrellas for a time fellowshipping with the other guests my family decided to dry some seats off and sit down while continuing the use of the umbrellas. Eventually I noticed a patch of blue sky off in the distance, "was it headed this way?" It was! Shortly thereafter, the rain slowed and then stopped. The sun began to shine and it turned into the most gorgeous day. The wedding began a little over an hour after the set time. With joy and trust in the Lord the groom stated to the guests, "We thought the wedding was going to start at noon, but I guess the Lord had other plans".

It was a very God glorifying day. I found it to be a faith building experience to see a godly couple who both loved the Lord so much that even after waiting a long time for marriage; they loved the Lord enough to knowthat HE was in control in spite of the fowl weather. It was actually a wedding that was so focused on the Lord that I felt it prepare us for Sunday worship the following day.

Part of loving the Lord is being willing to wait on Him and for His perfect timing. This goes very much against our fleshly desires to have everything instantly at our disposal. When we do not get what we want or things do not happen the way we think they should it is easy to let ungodly attitudes take over our demeanor. It is inconvenient to wait, but it is such a demonstration of our love for Jesus, to overcome our own desires and desire what the Lord wants.

What would have happened if the groom or bride had displayed wrong attitudes? Anyone would understand and sympathize with a disappointed groom/bride over the fowl weather. The fowl weather was a "test". It was as if the Lord was saying, "Are you going to keep your focus on Me? Do you trust My timing?" They could have allowed the rain to cast a shadow on the wedding. But that would have been failing the "test". It would also have taken glory away from the Lord. Instead, they displayed a trust in the Lord by right attitudes, and God got the glory.

Now back to the question at the beginnig of this article. What would have been your attitude & response? What is your attitude when things "go wrong"? Do you have a wrong attitude? Do you take glory away from the Lord? Or do you use unpleasant circumstances in life as a way to bring glory to God? This is one of the greatest ways to show your love for the Lord. When you respond with a right attitude, you bring glory to God. A wrong attitude takes away glory. Loving the Lord is making sure HE gets all the glory.

"I am the LORD: that is My name: and My glory will I not give to another,

neither My praise to graven images." Isaiah 42:8

Movie "180"

Here is a link to thought provoking film that will only take 33 minutes of your time. Some scenes may be disturbing to some so viewer discretion is advised.

http://www.180movie.com/

Walk for Life! by Crystal

Please consider sponsoring me to Walk for Life. It is a fundraiser for CareNet, a local pro-life ministry. Their direct link is: http://http://www.friendsofcarenetnn.org/

Donations can be made online: http://http://www.ministrysync.com/event/website/?m=685214

Jeremiah & Mom (with Shelley, of course!) are also planning to walk and taking pledges. They don't have a website yet, hopefully that will be coming soon. I will post their direct links as soon as they are available.

Thank your time and consideration!

God Said "No" by Crystal Thompson

This article has been sitting in my drafts since July, but I did not feel a release from the Lord to publish it until now.


At the end of May 2010 I was introduced to a nice guy at a friend's picnic. Towards the time that it was time to leave he made it known that he was interested in getting to know me better and asked if there was anybody he needed to contact. That was exciting! Nobody had ever asked to get to know me better before. I gave him Mom's contact information. They corresponded via e-mail & had a phone conversation. Finally this guy & Mom went to lunch. His intentions were to get to know me as a friend with the purpose of courtship. Then Mom invited him to dinner at our house.

I spent a lot of time thinking and in prayer. Above all else I wanted God's will to be done. At one point I wanted to know NOW whether the guy was 'the one' but God would not say either way. He told me "quite being so impatient, I'm not ready for you to know now". There were some personal lessons the Lord wanted to teach me through this.

When the fella came to dinner I had a really great time, but felt that something wasn't quite right. The very next day I went before the Lord about it, "What is it Lord?" Now God was ready to give me the answer! His answer was "no" to this relationship. I asked the Lord to confirm it... and He did! Not only that, but the Lord gave me a great peace & joy over not allowing the relationship to continue in the way that it was intended. That peace & joy I would not and could not trade for anything in the world! I also felt closer to the Lord. I hope we can be friends, but just friends - no intentions on courtship or anything along that line. I've been asking the Lord to bless him with finding the right girl soon and that God would give him a spirit of understanding.

"What a fellowship, what a joy divine,

Leaning on the everlasting arms;

What a blessedness, what a peace is mine,

Leaning on the everlasting arms.

Chorus: Leaning, leaning,

Safe and secure from all alarms;

Leaning, leaning,

Leaning on the the everlasting arms."

By: Elisha A. Hoffman

Merry Christmas

and

Happy New Year

May the Lord bless your new year with drawing closer to Christ.

Three Exhortations & A Surprise in the Mail by Crystal

On July 29, 2002 Mom, my brother Jeremiah, & myself were in a train wreck. But that event is not the real subject of this article. I only mention it briefly here due to the part it played. Mom sustained an enclosed "mild" traumatic brain injury, one of the results was a balance problem. In 2007 God sent a beautiful golden retriever to Mom in order to assist with her balance. As Mom learned more about service dogs, God gave her a desire to educate others about them and share her story. In 2008, one tool the Lord led her to was Toastmasters International.


As for me, I just chauffeured her to her meetings. I sat in on them just in case Mom needed help with anything. In the beginning I sat in the back and worked on craft projects, trying to make the most of my time. One day one of those in leadership asked if I wanted to do what is called a "Table Topic" - a spontaneous one to two minute speech on a provided subject formerly unknown to the speaker. I agreed. Then slowly over time I was asked to do other things and fill in for others since it was a small club. I was also greatly encouraged to join. It was something I did not mind doing but really did not have an interest in and therefore declined. For me, I really did not feel God wanting me to do it. If I did, I would have joined even if it was not something I was interested in. Besides, with finances being on the tight side I could not mentally justify spending the money on it. Eventually I came up with the excuse "it's just not something I want to pursue right now, maybe someday". It worked well in stilling people's tongues and it WAS the truth.


A while back during a phone conversation with a very dear friend, Alicia, Mom's involvement in Toastmaster's came up. She, a non-Toastmaster tried to encourage me to join. I thought "oh no, not you too! You're supposed to be on "my side". :-) Her encouragement came sandwiched in between pressure from Mom & her fellow Toastmasters to join. Mom would persistently try and get me to join. One day I asked her to "get off my back" and explained the above reasons. And she did, for which I was immensely grateful! Then in July another friend, Elizabeth, via the Internet who is a non-Toastmaster encouraged me to join! Again, I had the previous thoughts. Then in August while I was out of town yet another friend, also a non-Toastmaster, - this time the encounter was face to face, encouraged me to join! The encouragement came quite unexpectedly and I really did not want to hear it! But, at the same time I was also beginning to feel that the Lord wanted me to join. I knew that God was trying to get my attention when three individuals who were non Toastmaster's, who do not know one another, at different time periods encouraged me to join Toastmaster's - that kind of blows my mind away! I honestly had not felt the Lord calling me to join until recently. I knew there were ways that God could be glorified, but did not feel the call. So I chose to submit in my spirit to the Lord.



Now that I was ready, I didn't know how to pay for it. Extra funds had been pretty much spent on the WIT Singles Conference trip. I could have asked Grandpa to pay for it, but did not feel right doing so. And there would not be enough time before the next meeting to save up for it. Then a mysterious envelope arrived in the mail on Saturday, August 21st. It was postmarked August 19th from Greenville, SC and addressed to Mom & myself in a distinctly feminine hand. There was no return address on the exterior of the envelope. I opened it and to my great surprise there was $55 cash inside! And no note or letter of any kind. Neither Mom nor I can figure out who sent it. At first we did the natural and started thinking of ways to spend it - wouldn't you? :-). As I pondered this mystery I knew there had be a reason for it - that God had sent this for a specific reason. Then it dawned on me.... the Lord had sent it to provide payment to join Toastmasters! I still have no clue who sent it, but whoever did, that person must have been obeying the Lord in faith. It would be nice to know who he/she is, but will probably have to wait until I see Jesus and He tells me. One lesson to learn from the anonymous friend is to obey the Lord when He tells you to do something no matter how absurd it sounds.

Testimony of WIT Singles Conference by Crystal

The Lord worked in several ways during the Whatever It Takes Singles Conference, and is still working through the things I heard there. The Lord revealed several strongholds of fear that I had. One of those was a fear of guys. Yes! I know it sounds odd. As I pondered it and sought the Lord and tried tracing it back I realized it stemmed from a fear of giving my heart away, which stemmed from a fear of marrying the wrong guy. This may have stemmed from a fear of divorce, since I come from a broken home. I was wanting to control the situation, I was "drawing a line in the sand". One of the ways of doing that was by avoiding guys and putting up a wall - kind of like guy "repellent". I was okay with guys who were about 10 years younger than myself - too young to marry. And okay for the most part with those I had known for a long time. It was those who are of marriageable age I had a problem with. By avoiding guys for the most part & putting up a wall I knew that I would not be developing wrong emotional attachments which would/could lead to other things. But, I was also cutting myself off from good, wholesome, & healthy guy/girl friendships! The enemies goal is to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10) and he did a pretty good job at stealing wholesome friendships. I was not basing my actions on wisdom, but fear (2 Tim. 1:7). When I realized this, I confessed it to the Lord, asking His forgiveness, and asked Him to take back the ground I had given to satan. It was amazing what resulted afterwards! God has given me a freedom in relationships that I have not had in a long, long time.

Another stronghold of fear was about getting a job outside the home. Single daughters working outside the home can be very controversial in certain circles. If you look at Scripture, there are no verses that tell a single daughter go and get a job outside the home, but neither are there any verses that specifically give the command for daughters to stay home. There are verses that make it very clear that a wife is not to work outside the home, but I have not found any addressing single daughters. There are godly men on both sides of the issue. The cause of my fear was that something bad would happen, like a spirit of rebellion and a disruption of the close relationship with my mom. I don't want to rebel, but I have heard speakers present scenarios of where a daughter would get a job outside the home and end up in rebellion. I thought, oh no! I don't want that, that is clearly something God does not want. But fear can work in the opposite direction, too. Some could run out and get a job out of fear of what others think (especially relatives) of a single daughter at home with no job & "no" future. Ultimately the bottom line is: what is your motive for getting a job or staying home? If it is fear that is a wrong motive and is a stronghold that satan has over you. If it is because some godly leader said so, you need to get before the Lord and see what HE wants (Acts 17:11). It doesn't mean it is wrong for someone else (Romans 14:4), but it needs to be the Lord's leading. If it is the Lord convicting you, then go by what *GOD* is clearly convicting you and let nothing ever sway you from that!

There is something I realized quite some time ago and that was heavily stressed at the Conference, I would like to include here. The vital need for openness with your parents which means that you share everything with them, and never hide things. You know in your heart of hearts whether you are hiding anything from them. The enemy will hold that over you and use it to defeat you. Having your parents as your most intimate confidants, the ones you share your heart with and tenderest thoughts is practice for sharing with your future spouse. One of the lies the enemy likes us to believe is, "you don't have to tell you parents, things will be different once you are married". Though I am not married, I am very grateful that many years ago I was encouraged to be open with my mom. Just in case you get the wrong idea, we do have times of miscommunication - it occurs all too frequently. That is a major area that I'm still working on and will probably have to work on for the rest of my life.

A new twist to an old concept I heard at WIT that really spoke to me and grabbed my attention is the idea of emotionally & mentally "drawing a line in the sand". When we have been hurt there is a desire to say "I never want that to happen or be hurt like that again!". Then we act on it and do our best to create a surrounding about ourselves to keep from being hurt in the same way again. It is a form of relying on oneself instead of God. And if you want to face the ugly truth, this is really setting me up as god! (Ouch!!!), and is also a form of rebellion. It is saying, "God, you can't use that hurt, I'm going to take care of myself now because I don't trust You to keep me from being hurt again". To counter that we need to remember and medidtate on verses like Romans 8:28 & Proverbs 3:5-6.

Raise your hand if you like to get hurt (emotionally). I didn't think so. Nobody does. When I went to Journey to the Heart in 2008 God had revealed a need to work on deepening relationships. Unfortunately I did not really do anything with that. I think I'm beginning to realize that I do not know how. I can do surface relationships really well, but that is not enough. This is another area where I have put up a "wall". If you keep things on the surface you don't have to worry about getting hurt emotionally. But there is a needed healthy depthness in friendships that God designed. We have a natural tendency to put up a wall when we get hurt. By keeping things on the surface you can talk about all the small talk on the face of the earth, for example: how many siblings you have, where you live, favorite foods, foods you dislike, favorite this and that or dislikes. It's all on the surface. What we need, and was a prevailing theme at the Conference is openness and brokenness. You cross the line of vulnerability when you share weaknesses/failures, things that are much harder to talk about, things that are really truly on your heart, things you have a deep passion about, and things you are sensitive about. When you express your true opinion on a subject even though it may be controversial. We need to do as James 5:16 instructs us, "Confess you faults one to another, and pray for one another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." We naturally want others to think well of us. Therefore we do our best to shelter our failures from others. The lie the enemy uses to instill fear with is the thought, "what will others think if they knew __________?". So we plaster on a mask and tell others "everything's peachy keen fine" when it's not, or maybe we're just not feeling too well that day. It's being honest when everything is ugly looking on the inside. It's being able to truly listen to others with genuine interest in what they have to say. It's saying, "I'm struggling with _________, will you please pray for me?" Something I have noticed - and it is quite terrible, is a tendency to have a programmed/automated question and response. Someone asks the programmed question, "How are you today?". The automated response is supposed to be something along the lines of "Fine" or "Great!". The other person responds with something along the lines of "Good to hear you're doing well". End of conversation, move on to somebody else to repeat the "conversation". It is so automated, that sometimes when I'm feeling down I will say a hesitant "okay", it is surprising how many are really so used to these automated responses that they do not really hear what you are saying and reply "that's great, glad your doing good". And I'm thinking, "uh, I really did not have a good week" or "yesterday was just terrible". I think one of these days when I'm daring enough I will probably tell somebody "everything is terrible, the world is caving in" - not because it is, but just to see if they are really listening or respond with the automated response "glad you had a great week" (if you know me, you know my sense of humor).

Was the WIT Conference life changing? For me, yes it was! When I received the flyer in the mail I had no clue what the Lord had in store for me. I just knew that the Lord wanted me to go. Finances was an issue, but the Lord provided in a unique way for which I do not have the time to relate here. I hope others are blessed by this article and that it is wholesomely ediflying to Christ.

WIT Singles Conference by Crystal

I arrived at the Verity Campus http://www.verityinstitute.iblp.org/ where the Whatever It Takes Singles Conference (WIT) http://www.witministries.com/ was being held with a screw lose; in fact I almost lost it. No, seriously - I did have a screw lose..... on my suitcase! :-) One of the staff guys kindly fixed that problem for me.

It was 3 AM on Thursday, August 12th when my alarm went off. I needed to leave at 4:30 AM the latest to catch a 6 AM flight. Originally my connecting flight in Philadelphia was supposed to have me land at the Indianapolis airport at around 9:30 AM - I thought, ah - just in time for lunch! Nope, wrong. The flight was majorly delayed, there was a transportation miscommunication with my ride, and I ended up missing lunch. Good thing I had brought snacks along! :-) Gratefully, one of the Verity students who is also a friend graciously helped me find something to eat. Another blessing was getting to know two other girls who were on my airport run. I was also able to get all my ironing done. Furthermore, I was able to establish a friendship with one of my neighbors who I later found out was on my team! By being there so early, I was also able to make my bed and have a relaxing afternoon before the evening session started at 7:30PM. Additionally, I was able to get to know a little bit of the layout of the place so I could find places at the right times. If things had gone my way I would have chosen a later flight to depart from home and an earlier one to leave. I blamed my procrastination, but ultimately now I see the blessings God wanted to give me that I would have missed otherwise.

While I was at the Philly airport I saw a rather bizarre thing. At least it was to me - I don't travel by air very often. There was a lady wearing hair curlers! I could have understood if it had been super early morning, but it was late morning. I wish I had brought a camera with me so that I could have taken a picture of such an odd sight. Alas, I was trying to pack light - thus avoiding the ridiculous checked baggage fee and therefore had no room for the big camera and could not find the little one at my time of departure.

If it had been my choice I would have left Sunday the 15th. But if I had, I would have missed out on so many blessings. Instead my flight was to depart Monday the 16th at 5:17 PM. I was able to go to the pizza party for Sunday dinner with everyone else who left late, participate in the ice cream social afterwards, enjoy even more fellowship, and able to spend a good part of Monday afternoon in sweet fellowship with my friend Gabrielle. I'm also grateful to Gabrielle (aka "GEM"), who willingly trimmed my hair.

During the Conference we were given generous meal breaks to allow time for recreation & beautiful fellowship. One day a handful of us went out to watch a volley ball game, none of us felt the urge to participate. Then a brother of one of the ladies came along with a Frisbee and we started tossing it around. A few others joined us later. It was a most enjoyable time. I wanted to make the most of the time at the Conference so.... I kept rather late hours, a very unusual thing for me except maybe when times of fellowship are concerned. The earliest I went to bed was 11:45PM and the latest was 2AM. And no, I didn't sleep in - except maybe half an hour. Instead I made up for it when I got home! :-) We were placed in peer team groups. Normally I would prefer an age-integrated group, but for once I appreciated being in a peer group! It was encouraging & a relief to not be the oldest single in a group. A neat surprise God had for me at WIT is that He also brought Jenna, a friend from my Journey to the Heart team back in 2008 to the conference! Even though we were not on the same team at WIT, I enjoyed spending time with her.

All of these things are really dealing with the surface type issues. I thought I would do this first due to it's being quicker & easier. Another article is in the works on how God worked in my life at the WITS Conference - so keep an eye out for it! :-)

Pictures of Dad's Visit

Top Picture: Jeremiah, Crystal, & Dad

Second Picture: Jeremiah, Dad, Shirley, & Crystal at Sandy Bottom Nature Park

A snake we saw on one of the trails, non-poisonous, of course! Someone took one shot of it, then it started to go into a hole. Shirley stepped on his tail, so we could get more shots!

We visited Yorktown and Jeremiah took us to this grave marker for confederate soldiers.

Shirley observing some of history.

L to R: Shelley, Mom, Grandpa, Grandma, Dad, Jeremiah, and Shirley

L to R: Mom, Grandpa, Grandma, Dad, Jeremiah, and Crystal

Hope you enjoyed the pictures. We tried to get a group shot, but couldn't figure out which button on the camera to push. Only after Dad & Shirley embarked did we figure it out. Oh well, now we know for next time.

Testimony of Dad's Visit by Crystal

A few weeks ago I received a phone call that totally rocked my world. It was Shirley, my Dad's wife wondering if it was okay for her and Dad to come for a visit! I had never met her and had not seen Dad in over 9 years. It was a total shock! Yet, I consented.


Wait a minute, maybe you don't know my family too well so perhaps I ought to let you in on a few things. On April the first 1992 my dad decided for reasons unknown to us that he no longer wanted to be a part of our family. I was almost 10 and Jeremiah was 5 and a half. We went for a seemingly unending season of sorrow, emotional pain, and heartbreak. When the divorce was all over Dad moved out of state and very rarely contacted us. When he did it was via phone calls or mail. There were times when we did not even know where he was. During that whole season Dad was the "bad guy" and honestly, by his behavior he really was.

When I was about 15 the Lord convicted me being bitter towards my dad. The Lord used the tool of the Basic Seminar (aka "the Bill Gothard Seminar") to convict me of my unforgiving spirit. I remember it very clearly. Mom, who had already long forgiven Dad, was sick that night so she found a ride for me - I am so grateful for that! I remember choosing to forgive Dad for all the heartache he caused and the beautiful freedom that came immediately!! It felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders!

For many, many years I and others in my family have been praying for my dad. If there was one person in the world I didn't think would change, it was him! :-) Every once in awhile in the past few years I felt the Lord ask me, 'so what if he does change, what would it take to convince you he has?' I couldn't think of a response - I just didn't know. This brought a realization that, if he did change it could prove a great challenge to try and convince those he hurt that he really had.

A few months ago the Lord convicted me of another thing... I had been disrespectful to my dad during the time of my parents divorce. Ouch!! Yes, it could be explained away due to circumstances. However God says to "Honor thy father and thy mother..." Exodus 20:12a - not just when things are going peachy keen fine. You don't need a command then. The command is for when it is hard. I knew I needed to make a phone call, probably the hardest one I have ever made in my entire life. The Lord gave me great grace to do it. Mom prayed with me before, and I called my dad and asked his forgiveness for not honoring him like I should have. He did forgive me, we had some small talk and then ended our conversation.

When dad's wife, Shirley (married within the past few years) called I had no clue what was going to happen. Many thoughts whirled through my head, is he coming to cause trouble? Maybe he's trying to get some free labor to work on their ranch by trying to convince Jeremiah or me to come live with them. Was his wife going to barge into our lives and try to make us call her "mom"? Will he try and bring up things? Will he try and convince us that things that happened didn't? Or would he complain or talk bad about Mom? Will things be awkward? Or ???

On May 31st Dad called to let us know they were going to be arriving late. Jeremiah & I weren't home and Mom took the call. She could tell by his voice that he had changed - he did not sound angry. Then the day arrived.... we met Dad up at Bass ProShops on June 1st at noon (it somewhat felt like "High Noon", I could almost hear the theme music). He arrived by himself and thus began a great 3 days of fun! Wow. Dad had been the "bad guy" for so long that I had forgotten he could be fun. He had indeed changed greatly for the better, I was so amazed. Many were praying and I know that God blessed the time in answer to our praying friends (thanks guys!). We met Shirley the next day and discovered a very kind lady who loves the Lord. All my concerns, were of course unfounded. We did not have any heart to heart talks. But that's okay, after soooo many years this appears to be a good start to restoration. The visits crowning point to me anyways, was after a tour of the Yorktown Victory Center (the original plan was Colonial Williamsburg, but was abandoned due to the time required to tour there) when we hosted Dad & Shirley in our home for an early dinner! We all got along so beautifully - it was just amazing. If felt so much like family. Only God can do a work like that. My heart is continually praising the Lord for the great things He hath done. I am looking forward to what else the Lord has in store. I'm so glad that God writes the last chapter, aren't you?

One more thing. There's something I want to do now that I've not wanted to do since before the divorce, and that is to send Dad a Father's Day card! Good thing it's just around the corner :-)

"O magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt His name together"

Psalm 34:3